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antipodi
Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jan 2006
Posts: 1141
Karma: +6 (6)
Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:43 pm
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To boa or not to boa, that is the question.
What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister?
"Don't be such a rattle-tail!"
What does an exhibitionistic snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What's a snake picnic?
A snack in the grass.
What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hissssstory!
What does a boa constrictor use to make herself look prettier?
Hair coilers!
What kind of snake is completely different?
A Monty Python.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snakeskin.
Snakeskin who?
Snakeskin bite, but we'd rather run away.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow!
What did the snake say to Sylvester the Cat?
Nothing. He was ssssspeechlesssss!
What do you call a snake without any clothes on?
Snaked!
Monogrammed towels: 'Hiss' and 'Herps'.
Why is a snake so smart?
Because you can't pull its leg!
Why is a snake so careless?
Because it keeps losing its skin!
Hey Frank, are we venomous?
Why do you want to know?
'Cause I just bit my tongue!
What does a snake radio DJ say?
"Snake, rattle and roll!"
What does a well-dressed snake wear?
A boa tie!
What kind of snake keep its car the cleanest?
A windshield viper!
What is a snake's favorite footwear?
Snakers, of course!
How do snakes show they love you?
They give you hugs and hisses!
What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!
What is the most popular snake dialect?
Boomslang!
Don't worry, be herpy.
What kind of snake can do math in the dark?
A night adder!
What kind of snake did Roger the shrubber
(from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
use to help him round up some shrubbery?
A bushmaster!
What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding?
Garter snakes!
What do snakes do at the end of a date?
They give each other a goodnight hiss!
What kind of snake can cut a rug with the best of them?
A carpet python!
What snake do you bow to?
A kingsnake.
Who married the kingsnake?
Well, the queensnake of course!
What prize was given for first place?
A blue ribbon snake!
What snake is a member of the band?
The RATTLEsnake!
How can you revive a snake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!
M R snakes.
M R not snakes!
S M R! C D E D B D i'S?
How did the snakes bust out of jail?
They scaled the wall!
What kind of slippers do snakes wear?
Water moccasins!
What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
Rep-tiles!
How do you measure a snake?
In inches. They don't have any feet!
If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get?
A swallow!
What did the cobra say to the flute player?
"Charmed to meet you!"
What would you get if you crossed a newborn snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa!
What do snakes take for an upset stomach?
Repto-Bismol.l
Why couldn't the female snake have any babies?
Because she'd had a hiss-terectomy!
What should a ghost yell if it wants to scare a snake?
"BOA!"
Why do snakes go to free clinics?
They like the sliding scales!
Why can't snakes eat soup?
No spoon! They only have a forked tongue!
Why was the water moccasin suspended from the swim team?
He was failing Hisss-tory.
Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
She thought the joke was hisss-terical
Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssssside.
Why didn't the snakes leave Noah's Ark
and multiply like all the other animals?
They couldn't multiply. They were adders!
Why did the wife snake leave her husband at the party?
She thought he was making an asp out of himself!
What kind of snake helps clean the dishes?
A dish-viper!
How do snakes cook pasta?
Heat until the water coils or comes to a slither!
(Boils or comes to a simmer.)
What do you get if you cross a snake with a builder?
A Boa Constructor!
Why do snakes squeeze their food?
Because they have no arms to hug it!!!
What is a snake's favorite song?
"Fangs For The Memories"
What is a snake's favorite dance?
The 'Mamba'!
Where do snakes go to have fun?
The boa-ling alley!
What clothing might sister snakes share?
Co-bras!
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jsqueek
Site Admin
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 808
Karma: +10 (10)
Location: UK
Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:56 pm
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 so many jokes , where did you get them from or did you make them up your self ?
_________________
js
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antipodi
Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jan 2006
Posts: 1141
Karma: +6 (6)
Wed Mar 08, 2006 3:03 pm
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I get alot emailed to me and I also search the web for what I can find
Antipodi
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jsqueek
Site Admin
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 808
Karma: +10 (10)
Location: UK
Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:32 am
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theres some good ones there
_________________
js
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